Since the day we started on this journey people have been asking us when we think we will “settle down.” Over the last 9 years I have learned that question has a lot more to do with their discomfort in our unusual lifestyle than mine, but generally I do try to give an honest answer to that question. Those answers have also changed over the years, but the main response has been “when we find a place we want to be”.

I have seen many of our friends find that place, or in many cases decide it was time to settle in the place they had already picked, but for us until recently no one place has met both of our requirements. I say recently because Lee seems to have found his place. The Hollywood/Burbank area speaks to him in a way I have never seen before and has removed many of his previous objections to settling anywhere at all.

What I mean by that is issues like traffic, weather, rude people, homelessness etc pale in comparison to the rich history, excitement, and availability of film/TV activities he has here. Intellectually I understand how this area speaks to him, but for me I just don’t feel it. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the many things we have been able to do in this area, but my inner child isn’t inspired. Simply put: there aren’t a lot of waterfalls here.

So what do you do when the dreams of one person don’t match the dreams of another? Well, just like a regular life, you work it out. As a couple who have known each other for over 40 years (yeah, that’s crazy), we need to weigh our relative desires and decide what matters the most. As an individual I would never in a million years choose to live here long term, but I am not only an individual, but part of a couple.

We are also talking about fulfilling the life long dream of a person I love very much and that is no small thing. Lee lived in Keene, New Hampshire for 15 years to fulfill my dream. Lee had three children young largely to fulfill my dream. And Lee has tailored the full timing lifestyle to help it work for me as well as him. I truly believe as his friend and wife I should try and help make this possible.

But what does that look like? Unfortunately, he has picked one of the most expensive places in the country to call home, and to further complicate things we are here during a major industry strike which has significantly slowed down work opportunities. I also don’t make what I call “LA money”. I make a good living, but not enough to afford living here on only one income. Well, let me change that, we can live indefinitely here in our RV, but that is not settling down.

We have an apartment picked out in Burbank and a rough plan on how to furnish it, but what we lack are the funds to do so. Sure, we could take out loans tomorrow and make all that happen, but we worked very hard to become (and stay) debt free and both of us are very leery about changing that. The other thing we could do is modify the dream (cheaper apartment farther away from Burbank), but so far that option is not one Lee wants. I totally agree with him, because if you are going to give up a pretty good life to pursue a dream, you should really be honest about the sacrifices you are willing to make and not make.

Lee’s age doesn’t appear to be an issue to him finding or doing the work, but we are not kids anymore and living and working conditions we would have accepted in our 20’s and 30’s not so much in our 50’s. Neither one of us feels the need to apologize for that, and at this point we are being careful to look before we leap. Mainly I think because even if this all works out, it probably only be for the 10 years or so until we retire as this isn’t a great place to stretch a social security check. Our younger selves wouldn’t have cared about that.

On the plus side we don’t have to worry about young kids, school systems, or even crime that much, although I do have a hard line on not living somewhere that homeless people camp next to. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m being honest about it and you might be surprised about how many areas in the LA area that eliminates. Lee wants to live in the “studio zone”, which is a circle within a 30 mile radius of Beverly Drive and La Cienega and is essentially where the vast majority of all production takes place, and the closer to the epicenter the better. There are a lot of choices in that zone but when a 15 mile drive takes an hour or more and the days in his line of work can easily be 20 hours long, distance between a studio or a location and home also comes into play. The number one cause of death among people in that line of work is car crashes that happen in the middle of the night.

So I am 100% willing to play this out and do what I can to help Lee achieve his dream, but at the end of the day, I have learned the hard way that messing with other people’s dreams (even if you are trying to help) can cause issues. Emotional support, absolutely. Financial support, as able. But taking over and driving is a big, big problem. Which is a huge problem for me, because I want him to be happy and I want him to achieve his dream, but he has to do it in his own way and his own time

That’s pretty tough for me (remember, my job is project management), but for once I am trying to focus on myself during this transition because it is also about my feelings. Part of “getting settled” for me is the basics. So far I have found a great dentist, a decent grocery store, a good thrift store, and a wonderful dog park. I am still working on an exercise program of some kind, a good Chinese restaurant, and some kind of creative outlet that are both reasonably priced and relatively close. Those types of things help me “settle”, whether we are in a place for the summer or long-term and that’s really helped me see those things are possible here I just have to look a little harder than when in a small town.

More importantly I need to make my peace with stopping fulltime RVing at all. Its funny because I originally thought it would take about three years to find “our place”, but when it actually happened it really caught me by surprise. Intellectually I know that many people don’t even start doing this until they retire and the places I want to see aren’t going anywhere, but is there an opportunity cost?

What I mean by that is will we still be able to travel and see things being in a home base the way we have in the past? Obviously not as much, but still some things. And my brain working the way it does that gets me thinking about how many things we have actually seen in the last nine years. Life has often gotten in the way and the necessity to work has limited our time, so in order to settle an argument with myself and go with the facts I went back and made a summary list of what we have done over the last 9 years. Here they are:

• 46 State Stickers (earned by spending at least one night and doing something state specific)
• 42 Roadside Attractions
• 38 Scenic Drives
• 29 Beaches
• 28 Museums
• 25 National Parks
• 18 Presidential Sites
• 16 National Memorials
• 15 Lighthouses

Best of all are the waterfalls. I didn’t even try to count all of these but I know there are over 100. Yes, this life has its challenges, and yes, there are lots of days or even weeks over 9 years where nothing exciting has happened, but by anyone’s count that is quite the list. Still, as I said, the remaining places aren’t going anywhere and we have at least 10 good working years left before retirement. As always its a balance. What works for us long term versus what works in the now. As it stands we are taking this one day at a time and when we decide one way or another I will be sure and let you know.

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