One thing I really didn’t understand about LA when we first arrived is that rather than one big city it is a collection of “neighborhoods”. In some cases they’re just neighborhoods but in others they are their own little towns with their own governments, but they’re surrounded by LA proper, so they’re part of LA, but their own thing. From the outside the identity and culture of LA is all one thing (I certainly thought that) but in reality each neighborhood has its own unique character. I know that is the case in other large cities but here the differences between the neighborhoods can be significant and more importantly because of traffic once people pick a neighborhood they tend to stay in it. This might be self evident to anyone who has ever lived in a major city, but it’s kind of new to us.

Recently Lee and I had dinner with some people who have lived here for awhile and that was really brought home. They commented on how we were using the city as a whole rather than finding one neighborhood that worked for us. It was seriously like a lightbulb went off in my head and I realized that if we wanted to stay here we really needed to find that neighborhood.

Don’t get me wrong we have been exploring the neighborhoods, but certainly not with the mindset we would rarely leave it. With that in mind we spent a Saturday in Burbank (top of our current list) really checking it out. Turns out that was a good idea because although I have been to Burbank multiple times and we even stayed in the Elks lodge for several weeks I didn’t really understand the layout. The city is bisected by a major freeway and I have only been on one side missing a whole section. Nuts right, but that’s the thing about LA you really have to explore to see it all.

The first thing we did was go to the Burbank farmer’s market which is in the old downtown. (Beautiful downtown Burbank, for those who remember Laugh In and Carson!) 100% organic, and really great. I loved it and loved the vibe so next we drove up and down all the main streets in the downtown area. It’s unusual because it has a great small town vibe and also has a small mall right in the middle of downtown. Around the mall they have built apartments and lots of small restaurants to create a 15 minute city. These walkable foot prints close to public transportation are very attracted to the younger generation but for me it’s a little densely packed. Still it was great to see this area would be available for an evening out and I liked that there was a mall close by.

After driving the streets and seeing the police station (Burbank is it’s own city), Local library (very nice), and grocery store availability we drove over to the apartments that have made the top of our list. Lee had narrowed our selection down but I needed to see them in person. Turned out I really liked the complex he picked. It sits on the edge of town with a view of the mountains and a small city park next door. It also has a workout faciality, small theater, nice pool, and a wonderful garden courtyard vibe. The apartments themselves are a little smaller than we would like but they all have balconies two bedrooms and two baths.

Interestingly enough the things that matter most were layout (right side kitchen I hated but left side kitchen was fine) and where they sat in the complex itself. I really want a nature view (rather than pool or street) so it’s important which apartment are available. The rental manager was also very nice and chill and they have an outstanding fenced in dog area that is under the parking garage so it is shaded. The dog area totally won me over and I was ready to sign.

Obviously it is way more complicated than just signing a lease. Due to the ongoing writer’s strike and the potential for a SAG/AFTRA strike, nearly all production work has ground to a halt. So while Lee is doing freelance work here and there we haven’t proved out that we can swing the $4000 a month without a steady second income and of course we have no furniture. We will also need to become California residents the moment we move in which will increase our state taxes significantly. All the financial stuff aside though I could truly see myself living there which was a bit of a surprise to be honest. It’s been a long time since I even allowed myself to think in that direction and figuring out what mattered to the older me required some introspection.

Since I think Lee will be working long hours, I wanted a place I felt comfortable being alone that had safe places to walk the dog and facilities I could use without leaving the complex. Since I work from home I also wanted a decent view for my workday and a generally peaceful feeling. The day we went there were people around, but as I said it was pretty chill which is exactly what I am looking for.

To be clear, we are not going to do anything rash. It took us over a year to become full time RVers and I anticipate it taking a similar amount of time to stop being full timers if that is what we ultimately decide to do. All the steps we have taken to date are in preparation, but picking a neighborhood and an apartment were major steps. Now that I know there is a pleasant alternative to how we are living now I feel a lot more Zen about the decision overall. There is absolutely nothing wrong with our current life, but if we choose to change it I am OK with doing that as well.

On another note I have decided to take advantage of being in one place and signed up for an introduction to wheel potter class. Well I LOVED it and immediately signed up for another 6 weeks of classes. Once I have the basics down I will be able to do it anywhere, but its nice to be in one place and be able to complete a set of classes. Been a long time since I have been able to do that and it will be a nice creative outlet for me. I miss nature photography.

One last thing, Lee and I have been talking about the blog and it is really important that I keep writing it until we stop RVing and through the transition. I agree that will be a nice bookend to the start of the blog which showed how we become full timers and talking about the exit (when it happens) is equally important. From that point forward I am not sure to be honest, but I will continue for the foreseeable future and let you all know if that changes.

We very much appreciate your support of our blog.

• You can purchase the ebook telling the story of how we became full-time RVers.
• You can purchase our recipe book filled with 80 recipes we have cooked in our RV and taste tested by Lee himself. You can purchase the kindle or paperback version on Amazon or buy the Apple version on Itunes

Since the day we started on this journey people have been asking us when we think we will “settle down.” Over the last 9 years I have learned that question has a lot more to do with their discomfort in our unusual lifestyle than mine, but generally I do try to give an honest answer to that question. Those answers have also changed over the years, but the main response has been “when we find a place we want to be”.

I have seen many of our friends find that place, or in many cases decide it was time to settle in the place they had already picked, but for us until recently no one place has met both of our requirements. I say recently because Lee seems to have found his place. The Hollywood/Burbank area speaks to him in a way I have never seen before and has removed many of his previous objections to settling anywhere at all.

What I mean by that is issues like traffic, weather, rude people, homelessness etc pale in comparison to the rich history, excitement, and availability of film/TV activities he has here. Intellectually I understand how this area speaks to him, but for me I just don’t feel it. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the many things we have been able to do in this area, but my inner child isn’t inspired. Simply put: there aren’t a lot of waterfalls here.

So what do you do when the dreams of one person don’t match the dreams of another? Well, just like a regular life, you work it out. As a couple who have known each other for over 40 years (yeah, that’s crazy), we need to weigh our relative desires and decide what matters the most. As an individual I would never in a million years choose to live here long term, but I am not only an individual, but part of a couple.

We are also talking about fulfilling the life long dream of a person I love very much and that is no small thing. Lee lived in Keene, New Hampshire for 15 years to fulfill my dream. Lee had three children young largely to fulfill my dream. And Lee has tailored the full timing lifestyle to help it work for me as well as him. I truly believe as his friend and wife I should try and help make this possible.

But what does that look like? Unfortunately, he has picked one of the most expensive places in the country to call home, and to further complicate things we are here during a major industry strike which has significantly slowed down work opportunities. I also don’t make what I call “LA money”. I make a good living, but not enough to afford living here on only one income. Well, let me change that, we can live indefinitely here in our RV, but that is not settling down.

We have an apartment picked out in Burbank and a rough plan on how to furnish it, but what we lack are the funds to do so. Sure, we could take out loans tomorrow and make all that happen, but we worked very hard to become (and stay) debt free and both of us are very leery about changing that. The other thing we could do is modify the dream (cheaper apartment farther away from Burbank), but so far that option is not one Lee wants. I totally agree with him, because if you are going to give up a pretty good life to pursue a dream, you should really be honest about the sacrifices you are willing to make and not make.

Lee’s age doesn’t appear to be an issue to him finding or doing the work, but we are not kids anymore and living and working conditions we would have accepted in our 20’s and 30’s not so much in our 50’s. Neither one of us feels the need to apologize for that, and at this point we are being careful to look before we leap. Mainly I think because even if this all works out, it probably only be for the 10 years or so until we retire as this isn’t a great place to stretch a social security check. Our younger selves wouldn’t have cared about that.

On the plus side we don’t have to worry about young kids, school systems, or even crime that much, although I do have a hard line on not living somewhere that homeless people camp next to. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m being honest about it and you might be surprised about how many areas in the LA area that eliminates. Lee wants to live in the “studio zone”, which is a circle within a 30 mile radius of Beverly Drive and La Cienega and is essentially where the vast majority of all production takes place, and the closer to the epicenter the better. There are a lot of choices in that zone but when a 15 mile drive takes an hour or more and the days in his line of work can easily be 20 hours long, distance between a studio or a location and home also comes into play. The number one cause of death among people in that line of work is car crashes that happen in the middle of the night.

So I am 100% willing to play this out and do what I can to help Lee achieve his dream, but at the end of the day, I have learned the hard way that messing with other people’s dreams (even if you are trying to help) can cause issues. Emotional support, absolutely. Financial support, as able. But taking over and driving is a big, big problem. Which is a huge problem for me, because I want him to be happy and I want him to achieve his dream, but he has to do it in his own way and his own time

That’s pretty tough for me (remember, my job is project management), but for once I am trying to focus on myself during this transition because it is also about my feelings. Part of “getting settled” for me is the basics. So far I have found a great dentist, a decent grocery store, a good thrift store, and a wonderful dog park. I am still working on an exercise program of some kind, a good Chinese restaurant, and some kind of creative outlet that are both reasonably priced and relatively close. Those types of things help me “settle”, whether we are in a place for the summer or long-term and that’s really helped me see those things are possible here I just have to look a little harder than when in a small town.

More importantly I need to make my peace with stopping fulltime RVing at all. Its funny because I originally thought it would take about three years to find “our place”, but when it actually happened it really caught me by surprise. Intellectually I know that many people don’t even start doing this until they retire and the places I want to see aren’t going anywhere, but is there an opportunity cost?

What I mean by that is will we still be able to travel and see things being in a home base the way we have in the past? Obviously not as much, but still some things. And my brain working the way it does that gets me thinking about how many things we have actually seen in the last nine years. Life has often gotten in the way and the necessity to work has limited our time, so in order to settle an argument with myself and go with the facts I went back and made a summary list of what we have done over the last 9 years. Here they are:

• 46 State Stickers (earned by spending at least one night and doing something state specific)
• 42 Roadside Attractions
• 38 Scenic Drives
• 29 Beaches
• 28 Museums
• 25 National Parks
• 18 Presidential Sites
• 16 National Memorials
• 15 Lighthouses

Best of all are the waterfalls. I didn’t even try to count all of these but I know there are over 100. Yes, this life has its challenges, and yes, there are lots of days or even weeks over 9 years where nothing exciting has happened, but by anyone’s count that is quite the list. Still, as I said, the remaining places aren’t going anywhere and we have at least 10 good working years left before retirement. As always its a balance. What works for us long term versus what works in the now. As it stands we are taking this one day at a time and when we decide one way or another I will be sure and let you know.

We very much appreciate your support of our blog

• You can purchase the ebook telling the story of how we became full-time RVers.
• You can purchase our recipe book filled with 80 recipes we have cooked in our RV and taste tested by Lee himself. You can purchase the kindle or paperback version on Amazon or buy the Apple version on Itunes

I don’t really consider going from a five star hotel to a business office to a high end mall seeing the real India and although those experiences were not without their challenges I didn’t feel like I had really seen anything. The last thing I wanted was leave this place without seeing the old part of the city, but I was too afraid to do it alone. I could have hired a driver for the day, but that would have been a stranger as well so I was incredibly grateful when a couple guys from work offered to take me out for the day. This was no small offer as the guys were working 7 days a week and were working 6:30pm -3:30am.

They wanted to meet early though which was fine by me and everyone was running a little late. I was absolutely thrilled though when Abi brought Shreya who is one of the young women who work in the office. She was an absolute delight and absolutely made the day. The guys were there mainly to guard us and for logistics…yes they felt a guard was needed…but Shreya was there to have fun!!

Because it was a holiday weekend we had a little trouble finding a cab but finally we were on our way. The first place they wanted me to see was an Old Fort and we gathered with a huge crowd to get in. It is only 25 rupees for Indian people but foreigners cost 300 rupees. I didn’t mind paying the extra, but it was another example of outdoors being less welcome. The fort was pretty cool but I’ll be honest since we got a late start it was HOT. The stairs were steep and after walking around a little bit I was ready to call it and move onto the shopping.

Next to the fort there was a temple and I would have loved to go in, but my three hosts just looked uncomfortable. I don’t know why exactly but I picked up on the vibe and didn’t push the issue. Instead we started shopping and that was really fun. Shreya went into hi gear and we were looking for 100% cotton in XL which by the way is “big girl sizes” which more than one vendor told me they didn’t carry. Despite that Shreya’s enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself buying stuff to make her happy. It was all very inexpensive but I will say that most of the 100% cotton clothing didn’t feel like that and other items when I brought home just didn’t feel right. That being said it was all really inexpensive, but I had better luck in the actual stores in old town. Yes the price jumped up (better than mall prices) but those items after washing were much better. Just my two cents.

I was prewarned it would be crazy crowded but with the guys and Shreya it didn’t really bother me at all. I did the best I could to stay in the shade and it was a really awesome experience. Since it’s setup on both sides of the street crossing back and forth was a bit tough (Abi held my hand every time) but I loved seeing the real India. Also talking to them all about their lives was great and they shared several things about the culture with me. Shreya, for example, actually got a text from her Mom with a possible marriage match and her Auntie called while we were in the cab. She’s a strong independent woman though and isn’t really interested in marriage right now which I commend her for since this is really pushing the norms. I asked if she liked a guy could she get around the match maker and they confirmed a work around was to say you found a guy on a matchmaking site and no one really checked. At a certain age they just want you to get married and look the other way on how you get there. I thought that was awesome.

We also went to the Gold store and with Abi’s Indian phone number I actually got my pair of earrings. They charge based on weight not designer so that was interesting. We also went and ate lunch and went to the 2nd best non-veggie restaurant in the city. I learned that the population is 50% veg (as they call it) and 50% not and most restaurants specialize in one or the other. Since Jax and I are non veg we went to a non veg place but I actually liked the veg options better. Once again we talked through different foods choices and I particularly liked that everyone shared. Actually that happened at both of my meals. The portions are so big and they don’t like waste so they shared. I got my own meal but didn’t eat it all and that really bothered Shreya and Abi, ultimately they decided to package it up and the next time we were approached by a beggar on the street they gave them the food.

Speaking of beggars, I was approached a few times but it was much less than I expected. First of all most people were working and almost everyone has what we would call a side hustle of some kind. I was approached by women on two separate occasions and once by a little girl and boy which was hard. I was prepared for this though and had brought power bars with me so instead of money I gave them a power bar. In all the cases they seemed pretty annoyed that I gave food instead of money but Shreya said that is what they did and didn’t have a lot of patience for it. It wasn’t great but as I said I was resolved and had a plan in advance so that made me more comfortable.

After dinner we had one more place I wanted to go and that was recommended by one of the hotel drivers. I really wanted to get a nice shawl for my mother and we ultimately went to a VERY nice store. I was the only one there and they showed me shawls ranging from $30 US to $140. They explained the difference in the type of goats hair used (baby versus mature) and the intricacy of the hand weaving and embroidery versus machine. Not only did I pick out a beautiful shawl but I bought some other items for myself spending more than I had spent anywhere else. Loved it there and they made me feel very special. This was by far my favorite shopping experience and I was more than happy to spend my money there.

It was such a lovely day and to make it even better this group and others gave me presents on my last day of work. My favorite was a collage Abi made me with pictures from all the things we had done. That kindness truly brought tears to my eyes and I told them sincerely that the real gift was the opportunity to spend time with them. I meant that and am so grateful for their generosity.

I think that to sum up my trip I would say that I experienced the highest of highs and some very lows. It was terrifying at times and I was way out of my comfort zone, but I am incredibly grateful for those people that allowed me into their culture and guided me through it. In general the times I spent with people from India who knew me were amazing and the times I was out on my own were not so great. But I am glad I had the courage to experience a little of India both ways. I know for many people traveling alone internationally is not that big of a deal but for me it was a real shock to the system and I think it was in a good way. I am looking at things very differently now and I really hope those emotions don’t fade over time. When people ask me how it went I simply say it was truly life changing. I hope reading these blog posts you can see why I feel that way.

We very much appreciate your support of our blog

• You can purchase the ebook telling the story of how we became full-time RVers.
• You can purchase our recipe book filled with 80 recipes we have cooked in our RV and taste tested by Lee himself. You can purchase the kindle or paperback version on Amazon or buy the Apple version on Itunes

After arriving at the hotel and getting settled I needed to make my way over to the office. As tempting as it was to just stay in my oasis of calm, I was on this trip to do a job and I wanted to make sure I provided enough value to the company to justify the expense. The distance to the office was less than 100 yards but I had to cross a busy street and the general consensus was I should be escorted the first time. The woman I was working with to organize the trip stopped at the hotel on her way to work to give me a ride, and I discovered there was a long concrete barrier in the middle of the road and only a couple of places to cross. So I knew that would complicate things and was glad I had a ride the first day.

My arrival at the office was a bit overwhelming to be honest. I didn’t sleep, because I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up again, so I wasn’t mentally at my best. I also met a TON of people and as a person who has a hard time matching names to faces in the best of situations I was really struggling. Thankfully there were a few people I had been working with prior (and met on Teams meetings) and they were really happy to see me. That made me feel a lot better and I spent the first day getting acclimated, setting up meetings and getting the lay of the land.

The scope of my trip was pretty broad and there are multiple groups and over 500 people working in that office so it was really important that I was careful with my time. It didn’t help that I had one group that was incredibly excited to see me and meet with me and the other team didn’t seem as interested. This was especially challenging because I love working with the front lines workers and seeing their process and challenges first hands and I found it somewhat difficult to get access to some of the team members I wanted to work with.

Part of this I believe is the fact that India is a very hierarchical society. I like to cut through the lines of management and that was received with some initial suspicion. It took me quite a bit of time to reassure everyone that I truly was there to help and when I got access to lower level people they were terrific. First of all their technical skills were amazing…I mean they were flying through the screens and in general everyone was very positive and dedicated. I was especially impressed with the young women I had the opportunity to meet and since I was one of the few women middle managers who had visited the facility they were very happy to meet me.

That being said I still had to get back and forth to the hotel and that was a bit of a challenge. At night two of the men would walk me across the street and like the game Frogger it was pretty scary at times. In the daytime I decided to walk by myself and would generally find a gap in the traffic or follow other people to find my way across. Here I will show you the opening.

The next couple of days were pretty intense, but I genuinely felt like I was making progress. I even got to have dinner with two team members that I had worked on a project with although it took some time to convince everyone that was ok. Generally dinners are only with senior managers but I was adamant I was going to thank the people who had helped make my project successful. This is standard behavior for a project manager and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of it as long as the guys wanted to go. They absolutely did and we had a wonderful dinner where they got me try all sorts of Indian food helping me out with making sure things weren’t too spicy. They also explained how to use the bread to pick up the food and I knew to never use my left hand although that was something I had to focus on. Quick funny story they don’t really use napkins and when the bowl of water came at the end I almost drank it. Abi quickly noticed my confusion and set me straight it was to clean my hands lol. I was really out of my element.

Then the weekend came and I wasn’t sure what to do. Thankfully a couple of the guys I have been working with offered to take me into Old Town on Sunday and I decided I was going to do a little exploring myself on Saturday. A few miles away there was a VERY nice mall called Phoenix and I was curious to visit it. I also wanted to try on some clothes as well to find out what size I was in India, so when I went to the outdoor markets I would know what sizes to buy at the cheaper prices. The hotel got a car for me and it took about 20 minutes to go four miles but the mall was as nice as any I have been to in the states.

Although they had western shops I was more interested in the differences which were super varied. India is a study in contrasts and they had shops where the male and female areas were totally separate and other shops that had bras etc in their front windows. They also had a Chili’s (one of my favorite chains) and I had a really nice lunch.

What was interesting about the clothing stores were the variety of styles, ranging from completely western to traditional Muslim and everything in between. In the first store I went into I felt a little loss on size and asked a woman about my size if she spoke English and hesitantly asked her what size to try. She was very kind and suggested an XL (I am L in US sizes) and pointed me to a dressing room to try things on and her sizing was spot on. All pants are by the waist size though so I tried on and bought a pair of pants for $14.99 US. The prices were VERY similar to the US which is a lot in India and even though the place was packed the folks I work with say they never go there because it is to expensive. To thank the managers for their hospitality I decided to get candles from the US. This turned out to be a good choice because the gifts were very well received. Gift giving is a big deal in India and its important to get a small token of appreciation for those showing you hospitality.

I also found the home store to be very interesting because mostly the prices and items were similar to the US with some exceptions like this home religious statue. Ultimately I ended up buying many of my presents from the Bombay store which I really liked.

Everything was going great until I went into a jewelry store to look for a pair of earrings. I love gold and rubies and since this is India I thought I would find a great selection. All the jewelry stores are guarded and although they let me in I immediately felt unwelcome. I persevered though being as pleasant as possible, and ultimately found a pair of earrings for $125US. Every time that day when I made a purchase I was asked for an Indian phone number but since I didn’t have one the other shop owners worked around it. The jewelry store absolutely refused to sell to me though without a picture of my passport. I learned later that gold is carefully monitored in the country (even such a small amount) and without a passport I couldn’t buy any. I didn’t really get it and would have accepted it at face value, but the woman was incredibly rude. She talked to me like I was less than her even when I showed her my Amex Platinum card. It was a real Pretty Woman moment and frankly embarrassing and unpleasant.

At that point I wanted to go back to the hotel and I called the hotel to send me a car. The person I talked to said they needed an Indian phone number so the cab could contact me and I said forget it and went to the valet stand. They told me all cabs had to be ordered online and again needed an Indian phone number. At this point I was hot and frustrated, so I went and got in a Took Took. Let me say here I was specifically warned by my company to not get into one of these vehicles, but in that moment I didn’t feel like I had any choice. The guy was rough and quoted me 500 rupees (which I agreed to) and then we sped away. I was prepared for the feeling of taking my life in my own hands but I didn’t expect him to spend almost the whole ride yelling to someone on the phone. I just made my peace with the whole thing and hoped insurance would pay out if I died on the way back. That’s not hyperbole by the way.

Things don’t look that bad in the picture above because I was holding on for dear life during the more scary moments but let me explain. It’s an open air vehicle with no seatbelts. Cars are given some room when they drive, but these carts are not given way. Motorbikes (many with three or more people on them including kids sitting in the middle) whizzed by and I could have reach out and touched them. We also were cut off numerous times and since the driver seemed distracted (remember the yelling on the phone) I just figured it was all in God’s hands. I will say though that the guy knew what he was doing but I didn’t tip him because I felt like I was being overcharged. He dropped me off at the hotel on the street and I walked up breathing a huge sigh of relief.

When I went into the hotel the Concierge asked me about my day and I told him what had happened when I tried to get a cab home. Then I asked how much the ride should have costs and was told 100 rupee. I had been charged 5X what I should have and honestly the $4 wasn’t a big deal but everyone was outraged on my behalf. They were going to go give the driver a talking to but I explained he was long gone. When I calmed everyone down I did talk about it would have helped to make arrangements with me for the return trip prior to me leaving the hotel. Turns out I could have used What’s App to communicate with the driver which I had installed on my phone.

I actually ended up making this suggestion to the hotel at the end, to not assume first time visitors knew they needed an India phone number. All of that drama could have been avoided if I had asked more questions before I left and they had asked some of their own. Anyways, I’ll be honest the whole thing put a sour taste in my mouth, but I was still excited about going out with my coworkers the following day. I really hoped that experience would be different.

We very much appreciate your support of our blog

• You can purchase the ebook telling the story of how we became full-time RVers.
• You can purchase our recipe book filled with 80 recipes we have cooked in our RV and taste tested by Lee himself. You can purchase the kindle or paperback version on Amazon or buy the Apple version on Itunes